GUEST POST: God Gives Us Children To Make Us Parents by Linnette Bachman

December 2, 2010 at 5:29 pm (Parenting Tips)

“God gives us children to make us parents.”

-Rosie Das

I was reflecting on this quote from a mentor of mine, and it struck me as profound.  With two daughters (2 and under) and one on the way, my day-to-day life is focused on training, disciplining, and teaching.  If you were to ask me, “why does God give us children?” my life would answer “so we can train them”.  Yet this quote seems to suggest that in the midst of our training our children and learning to sacrifice, God, as our parent, wants to train us.  Is it presumptuous to say God might answer the question “why does God give us children” with “so that I can train you!”?

 In Matthew 18:3-4, Jesus says,

“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

 It’s significant that Jesus doesn’t say, “unless you get a handle on your kids and teach them how to be grown-ups, they won’t enter the kingdom of heaven”.  Instead, he says we must become like them.  We must learn from little children.  Our little children.  So I ask myself, “what lessons can I be learning from my girls?” 

 Now, please don’t hear that I don’t think training our little ones is important, because I think it’s vital!  But as I reflect on this passage, I can’t help but wonder if in the midst of my focusing solely on training my girls and seeing this as the purpose of my day, I might be missing the training God has in store for me.

 Have you ever set up a training lesson for your kids?  My 18 month-old just learned how to defiantly say “no!”  So, the other day, I spent 20 minutes with her just giving her commands:

“Kylie, come here.”

(Kylie comes)

“Way to go!  I am so proud of you!”

“Kylie, give mommy the block, please”

“NO!”

“Kylie, we do not speak to mommy that way, we say ‘yes mommy’”

“Yes mommy”

“Great job Kylie, that is right!  We say ‘yes mommy’”

“Kylie, go sit down”

“NO!”

“Kylie, please say ‘yes mommy’ and obey”

“NO!”

“Kylie, you need a spanking to help you learn that you need to obey mommy”

(Kylie gets a spank)

“Now, Kylie, we say ‘yes mommy’ Please go sit down”

“Yes mommy”

And on it goes…

 Could it be that God gave me the exact children he did, with their unique personalities and sin patterns and capacities because he knew they would be just right for various training lessons for me?

 As I think back on the past 3 years of motherhood for me (obviously I am NOT a veteran!) I can see myself wavering between a defiant “NO!” and a “Yes Lord” in choosing patience, self-sacrifice, consistency with training, contentment, etc.  And just as I want my children to trust that I have their best interests at heart and that I am “for them” even when I say no to things that seem good, I want to trust the Lord with his will to make me more like Jesus (Ro 8:29) and his way, which in this season seems to be through my little ones.

 Perhaps realizing that the Lord has training in store for me during the day through potty training mishaps and toothpaste on the wall will help my heart to be teachable and my response to be “yes Lord!”